Most of us never had the period talk.

So nobody was ever going to sit us down for the menopause one.

Urdu has a word for menopause. It has none for the years before it. The years when your periods stop keeping time, sleep goes, the heat climbs your neck at the worst possible moment, and you start to wonder what on earth is wrong with you. No word means nothing to type into a search bar. And often nothing to say to the doctor either.

What struck me most

Started reading, and kept reading. What struck me most was how under-researched perimenopause is, even among professionals.

One audit from Rawalpindi has stayed with me. At the psychiatry outpatient department of Benazir Bhutto Hospital, it looked at 250 women aged 45 to 55 who had already been diagnosed with depression. 78% had significant perimenopausal symptoms that had been overlooked. 82% were on antidepressants (Gul, 2024).

Those women weren't short of a doctor. They were short of the words to tell one what was happening.

That has to change. Roshara is my part of changing it.

What Roshara is

A free perimenopause and menopause platform, in English, Urdu and Roman Urdu. Free because information about your own body shouldn't depend on your income.

It does three jobs.

It helps you track. Mood, energy, sleep and hot flushes, every day, then a tag for whatever else turned up: brain fog, joint aches, palpitations, a heavy period, spotting. Nearly 30 symptoms in all, plus what might have set the day off. Hot weather. Spicy food. Chai. A missed meal. When you're ready, it all becomes a record for your doctor, as a PDF or an email. The record goes in English, so the doctor can read it whichever language you logged in.

It helps you learn. More than 130 articles on the questions we hesitate to ask even our closest friends. When we write about treatment, we say whose guidance it comes from (the Pakistan Menopause Society, NICE, the British Menopause Society) and we send you to a licensed doctor for what it means for you.

It helps you find each other. Circles is our community. Ask, share, and feel understood. Post anonymously if you prefer, because plenty of us read on a phone the whole family uses.

What it will never do

Tell you what is wrong with you. Tell you what to take. Promise you an outcome.

That is your doctor's job. Ours is to get you into that room ready.

Where this goes

More languages, in time. Four or five more, so more women can read about these years in the language they think in.

The goal stays the same. No woman ashamed, unsupported or afraid to speak up. I want you to walk into your doctor's office informed, confident and ready to ask for what you need.

If you want somewhere to begin, Your Memory Is a Poor Witness lists the seven things worth writing down before that appointment.